Monday, December 12, 2005

Awful British Hospital Humor

From Bad Signal:
I always thought HOUSE missed
a step by not adapting the hideous
acronymic codes used by doctors
in their notes. The British ones
were discovered first, but they're
used everywhere. The most famous
one is FLK, for Funny-Looking Kid,
sometimes modified by JLD -- Just
Like Dad, and, brilliantly, Normal
For Norfolk, a rural county of
tractors and farming communities.
CTO means Circling The Drain and
GPO is Good For Parts Only, not
things you want to see on the chart
when you've been in hospital a
while with a nasty cough. There's
also a Rule Of Five -- if you've got
more than five tubes in you, you're
fucked. PFO is a favourite: Pissed,
Fell Over. The Dirtbag Index is
horrendous -- divide the number
of tattoos by the number of teeth
to find how many baths the patient
has taken that year.
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